Don’t Set your New Year’s Resolutions Before Reading This!

It's that time of year again - the time when we set resolutions that we hope will transform us into the best version of ourselves, and that we'll finally have the best year of our life!

Yikes! Just writing that makes me anxious. Is it just me, or are you also feeling the pressure to change and grow and evolve, but feeling unsure how to actually set goals that create sustainable change in your life? The frustrating truth is, most of our resolutions fail every year, and we find ourselves reverting back to old familiar habits because we focus on the goals we want to achieve, but so often leave out the most important part of setting intentions and then following through with them - our feelings.

As a holistic psychotherapist, I know that sustainable change happens slowly over time, not all at once. Instead of trying to change your entire life this year, I encourage you to focus on the feelings you want to cultivate in 2024 and then choose 3-4 goals that align with those feelings, followed up with the daily practices that will make your goals inevitable.

I've been setting New Year's Resolutions this way for YEARS and it WORKS. This month I'm sharing my personal resolutions template that I use every year to set my own goals and resolutions! You can download it here:

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Keep reading to learn about the psychology behind New Year's resolutions, how they impact your mental health, and how to set resolutions that actually work from a holistic perspective.

Ok let's dive in!

The Psychology Behind New Year's Resolutions

Why do we set resolutions at the start of a new year? From a psychological standpoint, it's human nature to want to improve ourselves and make changes after reflecting on the successes, joys, trials and failures of the past year. This tradition gives us an opportunity to re-evaluate the trajectory of our life and approach our goals and desires with a renewed sense of hope and motivation.

If you're feeling apprehensive or nervous about setting resolutions again, only to have them not materialize, I want you to know you are not alone. Working with a therapist or accountability buddy can help supercharge your intentions and keep you on track throughout the year.

Personally, I work with both a therapist AND have an accountability buddy (Hi, Navani!). Every year I send her my goals (using this template) and we check-in about what worked and didn't work from the previous year, and spend time sharing our new goals and celebrating each other. Having someone witness and support me in my growth has make setting resolutions not only more fun, but more impactful!

Resolutions and Your Mental Health

Sometimes when we set resolutions, we compare ourselves to others and can find ourselves focused on what we 'should' want to manifest, rather than listening to our own hearts desire. This can lead to feeling not good enough and lack of motivation. And the impact on our mental health? Ugh, more inner chaos, criticism and stress.

I want to help you onto a path where setting resolutions is inspiring and brings you into alignment with your highest self. Keep reading to learn how.

How to Set Resolutions that Actually Work

Want to know the most powerful way to set and achieve your resolutions? Focus on the feeling you want to cultivate! Then set your goals. And then schedule your daily practices that will make your goals a reality. Let me walk you through the process.

Instead of starting with the end goals you want to achieve in 2024, start with how you want to feel as December 2024 rolls around. Are you seeking contentment? Joy? Connection? Fulfillment? Love?

Take a few minutes to journal about what feeling you want to cultivate and pick 3 before you move on to choosing goals in support of those feelings. (Pssst. Right now is a great time to begin. Grab your journal or open a new note on your phone and jot down your thoughts...)

As an example, say you want to get a new job in 2024...great, but make sure you include the why...what will you feel when you get that new job? Secure? Joyful? Abundant?

Once you have identified the feelings that you want to cultivate, choose 3-4 goals that align with those feelings.

Finally, break down these goals into daily or weekly actionable steps that will help you achieve your desired feeling by making your goals inevitable.

To continue with the job example, some daily practices might include: spending 30 minutes a day networking, and spending 10 minutes a day journaling about the new job you want to have. When journaling, make sure you cultivate the feeling you want to experience, so writing about how it feels (in the present tense) when you have this new job, and include details like where it's located, what you get paid, what you wear to work, how many hours you put in, etc.

As another example, if one of your goals is to feel radiant, and your goal is to deepen your relationship to your intuition, your practices could be: spend 10 minutes a day in silence or meditation at least 5x a week, and practice stream of consciousness journaling at least 3x a week.

Letting yourself focus on how you want to feel first, then setting resolutions, and then setting daily practices in support of your goals will help you practice being kind and compassionate with yourself. It's a solid way to prioritize your mental health and wellness, and avoid adding more stress and overwhelm to your life.

My template makes it easy to capture the feelings, goals and practices for making 2024 a beautiful year. I also include more examples. Download it here!

How a Holistic Therapist Sets Resolutions

As a holistic psychotherapist, I trust in the mind-body-spirit connection. When setting resolutions and goals, I always take inventory of my life first to determine where my life is feeling out of balance or needing extra love and care. So instead of setting goals in every area of my life, I will choose 2-3 goals that support me mentally, emotionally, psychically or spiritually, not all of them! Some goals might include:

Make 2 new friends
Get hired for my dream job
Read 12 new books to support my spiritual and personal development
Connect with my higher self
Deepen intimacy in my marriage

2024 New Year's Resolution Template

I hope this info helps you approach setting resolutions as less of an overwhelming task on your to-do list, and more of an opportunity to support your personal growth and development. Remember, change happens slowly over time, not all at once. By focusing on the feelings you want to cultivate, choosing a few actionable goals, and prioritizing daily practices, you can achieve lasting change and see your goals manifest in 2024.

And before you go, grab your copy of my 2024 Resolutions Template to support your healing journey in 2024!

And if you’d like some support in your journey, don't hesitate to reach out! Me and my team provide integrative psychotherapy that honors the mind, body, and spirit connection.

We offer holistic therapy online to anyone in California, and see therapy clients in-person from our offices in El Dorado Hills, CA (near Folsom and Sacramento).

Book a no-cost consultation call below to learn more!

Rooting for you!

Wishing you an awesome year, filled with connection, growth and love.