Attachment is real.
Relationships are hard.
Connection is how we heal.
What we need most in this world is intimacy. What we need to heal our wounds is connection in a trusting and safe relationship. What we need is often so hard to even admit in a culture that focuses almost obsessively on being ‘independent’.
Interdependence is how we are wired to be.
It’s the middle space between fierce independence and messy codependence. As humans, we are literally built to be in connection with others. Our nervous system continuously scans the environment to assess for safety. People known and unknown are unconsciously assessed, categorized as either safe to approach or dangerous and then we withdraw or shut down.
In this world, I know not everyone wants to hear this. We like the illusion that we’re all independent and don’t ‘need’ anyone else. We often want a quick fix, the perfect self- care practice or meditation that will free us from our suffering.
The truth is that relationships are a sacred container for growth.
Our relationships are our greatest teachers.
Be they painful, blissful, joyful, infuriating or at their worst damaging and traumatic.
It’s not another person that heals us. WE HEAL OURSELVES. But it happens in that mystical magical space of intimate connection.
Consider what safe relationships you have for processing and rewiring. It could be a relationship with a partner, spouse, sibling, friend, a therapist, or even god/your spiritual source. Or perhaps you are currently seeking that space or even walled off to it, intent on protecting yourself at all costs.
As you step gently on this path of inquiry and intimacy, connection and vulnerability, I send a hope and a wish your way: may you have some time and space to see and be seen, feel and be felt by another person. To be supported in whatever it is you are growing through right now.
And if that still small voice in your heart is asking for more connection, take one step right now to reach out for support. I help amazing humans just like you in my practice every single day. I would be honored to support you! [You can contact me here.]
You Got This. I really do believe it.
From my heart to yours,
If you feel moved or inspired by this article please share with your friend on social media. Your support means the world to me ♡ ♡ ♡
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Kim is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who offers holistic counseling to adults struggling with anxiety and depression and motherhood. A yogi and a psychotherapist, she believes that being human is a practice and that healing and change is always possible. Kim currently offers virtual holistic psychotherapy and online counseling to individuals in California. Call/text to find out more: 916.467.9539.